Who here can really say, without a doubt in their mind, that they love uncertainty? 

*waits for hands* 

To all my teachers out there, how does it feel not knowing whether you’re going to be teaching with your kitchen cabinets in the zoom background this week, then masked up in front of your students the following week? 

To all my single ladies out there, how does it feel wondering when the ring will finally be put on your finger? 

It feels vulnerable. It can make you feel helpless. And it’s a good reminder that there is nothing wrong with feeling those things. 

Who says that we always have to be certain? 

An Enjoyable Uncertainty 

I had COVID two weeks ago. Normally, for someone anxious like me who wants to know everything so I can use knowledge to successfully self-preserve, I would’ve completely freaked out. 

But I didn’t this time.

As a Christian and as a 29 year old human being, I’m seriously learning to dig my roots down into Jesus’ command of not worrying. When things are uncertain it serves as a great opportunity to recognize that I need God to remind me that He is control and He is taking care of me. 

Learning to take every single fear directly to him in prayer and deciding not to dwell on it. 

So when I found out I had COVID, I specifically remember being anxious. The thoughts of thinking about all the people I could’ve possible given it to threatened to dominate my thinking. The fear wasn’t of me dying from COVID, oddly enough. The fear was of what others would think of me if I told them I had COVID.

I was tempted to contact people I’d hugged in passing, who weren’t necessarily close contacts, but I also realized that could cause unnecessary alarm. Instead of consistently worrying about it, I allowed it to be uncertain. I prayed and allowed the uncertainty to float in the air. And things were fine and I felt at peace. 

That’s what God calls us to do a lot of times, doesn’t he?

Not once does God call us to think about how everything is going to turn out. 

He never tells us to allow our worries to control us or change us or define us. 

Uncertainty does not have to be a terrible thing, in fact, it can be enjoyable when we give it to God. 

Once I got over the worry, I was free to tend to other things in my life. I talked on the phone to friends, I watched movies, I cleaned, I wrote, I continued reading The Mysterious Benedict Society series. My life was enjoyed, not because I knew everything was going to be okay, but because God is calling me into a deeper knowing of him. 

He’s inviting all of us into this deeper knowledge because knowing him is life. 

A Glorious Life 

One of my favorite verses is John 17:3

“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.”

Eternal Life is another Christ reality. 

Eternal Life allows us to know the truth: we don’t need to know every outcome in life because worrying is not life eternal.

And dear friend, if its not life eternal, why waste time on it? 

Let us eat the bread that brings eternal life rather than us being eaten alive by constant worry.

Love and Light, 

Kourtney Naomi