2024 has been one of the most tumultuous and oddly refining years of my life. 

I lost three important relationships. 

One which changed the trajectory of where my life was headed. 

The other was similar. 

And the last, though unexpected, was necessary too. 

In these particular relationships there were things I did wrong, hurts I caused. And vice versa. 

And yet, through the pain of grief, one of the main lessons God is teaching me and has taught me in 2024 is that love changes everything. 

While grieving those relationships, the only thing that has kept me securely grounded is God’s love and the truth that His love for me doesn’t change based on my behavior or difficult times I’m experiencing.

As I’ve stated in previous posts, I’m learning how to be messy with God, learning how to come to him angry, cursing in my head (and honestly sometimes out of my mouth), nose running, ugly crying, in the midst of sin, or just coming out of it. 

I’m learning how to believe He loves me regardless. 

And each time I’ve come to Him this year, I’ve found nothing but compassion, warmth, love, and acceptance. 

For instance, one of the most difficult pills I’ve had to swallow this year was learning that although my parents are wonderful parents they failed to love me in many different ways (and that’s okay). When I started to digest this pill, I resisted it because to accept that fact would mean admitting that something was fundamentally defective about me. I didn’t appreciate that feeling. But something beautiful happened when I leaned into accepting it. I found that where my parents failed, God didn’t. Jesus didn’t. 

And that truth is the same when I have to swallow the pill of realizing I haven’t loved myself well or others well. God’s love for me helps me to accept the truth because accepting the truth about my own sin and the sin of others doesn’t change God’s love for me. If anything, it enhances its power. 

Now this doesn’t mean that He doesn’t require me to repent or change, but fear, shame, and toxic guilt are no longer my motivating factors for changing.

I’m learning to be motivated by His love. 

Understanding God’s love through Jesus is one of the most important building blocks of our lives as God’s children who are following the Way. It’s what scripture speaks about when Paul says, “…and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19)

I used to think that all my Christian biblical knowledge and Christian activity would help me grow into this hyper-spiritual giant. But Holy Spirit, speaking through Paul, inscribed on these beautiful pages of the Bible clearly says that we are filled up to the fullness of God by being rooted and grounded in love. And being rooted and grounded in love enables us to comprehend together the multidimensional love of Christ that makes no sense–through this we will be filled with godliness. 

Rooted in Just Love. 

It’s that simple. 

It’s so easy to overlook. 

But I hope you perceive it. 

Happy New Year, friend. 

Love and Light, 

Kourtney Naomi