This past Sunday, the sermon at church was on worship. My pastor made a fantastic point about what worship is. First, he defined the Old English word for worship which is weorthscipe. Its denotation is to give shape to what is worthy. Then, he provided a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson where he said,

“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will come out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping, we are becoming.”

for what we are worshipping, we are becoming.

We become that which we give space to because we see it as worthy.

What does this have to do with healing as a Christian? In these past few months, God, Yahweh, The Eternal One, The Most High King has been meeting me in deep places of my soul. He’s shown me that for years I’ve believed and have worshipped lies. I have ruminated on past hurts and false identities that I assumed due to trauma. I’ve hurt people because I’ve been unhealed. He’s revealed all of this to me in the gentlest of ways. Not in a condescending, blaming way but in a matter-of-fact loving way.

He’s so good.

He’s shown me that I’ve been giving space to rejection, self-hatred, and living in an unloved state. I’ve been worshipping my trauma and my wounds. And since I was worshipping those things, those messengers from the enemy, I was not worshipping Him and His character. My vision was obstructed by my past, so I couldn’t see God fully. But in all this, He has not condemned me. He has only corrected, disciplined, and loved me through it all.

Now, He’s calling me to know who He is and to build my life on the rock that is His Character. And friend, He’s calling you to do the same.

One of the ways God’s character is leading me to deeper healing is by viewing my past through the lens of who He is and not through what was done to me. As a kid, I was rejected a lot by my classmates, but as I learn more about God’s loving acceptance I can see that His arms were open to me through it all; I just didn’t know it. Since my Creator’s arms were open to me, then I am defined by His attitude toward me and not the attitude of my peers toward me. It’s a game changer.

What about for you? Were you abused, emotionally neglected, forced to grow up faster than was meant for you? I want to invite you to listen to what God says about Himself and ask Him to show you how He’s viewed your abuse, trauma, and self-inflicted hardships.

“Yahweh! The Lord!

The God of compassion and mercy!

I am slow to anger

and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.

I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.

But I do not excuse the guilty.

I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;

the entire family is affected–

even children in the third and fourth generations.”

-Exodus 34:6-7

If you think God didn’t see your abuse, remember, He is compassionate. He felt what you felt. If you think God is rejecting you, remember, He is full of unfailing love and forgiveness which He wants to give to you. If you think God is constantly recounting your past sins, remember, He is slow to anger and merciful. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve! Yes, the scripture says he doesn’t excuse the guilty and lays the sins of parents upon their children and grandchildren but compare that to the thousand generations on which He lavishes his love!

Throughout the entire existence of the earth, Yahweh, God, has desired to be known intimately and truly by His creation. He is Holy, Just, worthy to be worshipped and obeyed. He is loving, compassionate, patient, and gentle. He is fierce, a fighter, and a warrior. He is a healer and a comforter. He wants us to trust and rely on who He is and allow that to transform us. That’s worship.

Friend, I am learning to give shape to that which is truly worthy; Yahweh’s habits of being are worthy. He is replacing the poison of my wounds, cleaning them out with His love, and replacing them with His presence.

I pray the same for you <3