“Even the wise do not know all ends.” Gandalf The Grey 

She was one of them. The student who raised their hand to respond to every question. The student who stood up to give her answer. The student who did the reading the night before. The student who wanted to know it all. 

And she was me. She still is. 

I wanted to know it all because first, I’m a naturally curious person who has a hunger for knowledge and wisdom. Second, because I liked the feeling of knowing what other people didn’t know. It gave me a sense of superiority and honestly, it still does. Third, there is comfort in knowing because it gives a sense of control.

However, there is beauty in not knowing. What’s more? God doesn’t even expect or want us to know all things. 

Ecclesiastes 11:6 says, “Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” 

Currently, there are several things that I don’t know and these things are all deep desires:

• I don’t know when I’ll have kids 
• I’m not sure if I’ll get married this year 
• I’m not sure if my boyfriend will get approved for a visa 

I have faith that these things will happen, but there is no sound, tangible evidence that they will. And that makes me uncomfortable. 

But the scripture above tells me that I cannot understand the activity of God. It is an intended mystery, something just beyond my grasp. And it’s okay to not know the activity of God because he provides tangible truths and promises to sustain us in the not knowing seasons of life. 

One of those tangible truths can be found in Psalm 16:11a where the Psalmist says, “You will show me the path of life…” So when I view my list of unknown things through the lens of who God is, I can say with confident hope: “You will show me the path of life.” So I don’t have to spend precious mental energy detailing my life. Instead, I can meditate on phenomena like what Ecclesiaistes mentions: “Well, how does the wind know where to blow? How is a baby formed in a woman’s womb?” 

A humble view of myself and a healthy fear of God helps me to keep God in His rightful place, which is Lord and master. The same humility and fear that helps me maintain the correct perspective of God also allows me to see myself rightly, as a dependent, beloved creation. 

I’m seeing this play out in my life as I write this. As I’ve shared before, I have no clue if my significant other will be successful in getting his visa or if he’ll be geographically closer to me anytime soon. I certainly hope so, but God is helping me to use this season as an opportunity to practice the peace that comes with the humility of not knowing. Anxiety’s demands are beginning to become drowned out by truths like,

• God knows 
• God is capable
• God harnesses and guides the wind
• God designs the DNA of human beings
• God will show me the DNA of my destiny 

A good practice to build this mindset is to read the bible through the lens of seeing God as the Master Planner whose hand consistently moves through the fabrics of life. Genesis is a great place to start. 

Then, if you are a Christian, begin to orient yourself with the truth. 

It’s okay for us not to know it all. God knows it all. He will lead us. 

If we let Him. 

Love and True Light,

Kourtney Naomi