God always humbles me when I think I have him figured out.

This is my latest (but not my newest) finding in my journey of emotional wholeness through Christ.

I’m not an optimist. So when I came to Christ, I didn’t expect the walk to be paradise. But to be honest, I didn’t expect it to be as difficult as it has been. Becoming a new Creation sounds so beautifully idyllic! But the process is often marked by pain.

Recently, I was experiencing some feelings of depression brought about by my battle with C-PTSD being triggered. (Which was really an attack from the enemy). Though it was a painful period of time, it helped me to realize and appreciate some of the beautiful aspects about being united, covered, and held by Jesus Christ.

One of the most beautiful gifts that is available through Christ is the access to the Father that is available to us in our time of need.I don’t often believe in and act on this truth from a place of faith but thank God that through the Holy Spirit’s work of sanctification, God gave me the opportunity to put my faith into practice in this area. 

He helped me in my time of need by allowing me to find a helpful article about C-PTSD which provided helpful strategies for self soothing. He also showed up for me through the comfort and prayers from my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

I showed up to service on Sunday feeling depressed and God gave me the strength  to be vulnerable and tell my worship teammates that I was feeling depressed and couldn’t sing. This level of vulnerability is a work of the Holy Spirit because it is not my nature to be that vulnerable because of painful things I’ve experienced. However, I didn’t experience pain in my vulnerability. I was met with hugs and help. While I sat in the lobby area in tears, I was met with hugs, prayer, timely advice and comfort and the strong yet tiny hands of a dear friend who prayed over me and cried with me. 

But the depressing feelings didn’t stop—not until a friend of mine suggested that I fast. Now I am all for therapy but I’m not lying when I tell you that very soon after fasting, I felt light and at peace. The situation that was triggering to me had not been fully resolved. I didn’t forget about the trauma but I felt light. The depressing influence had lifted and guess what? It is still lifted. Why and how? 

Because of Jesus.

“He sacrificed himself for us that he might purchase our freedom from every lawless deed and to purify for himself a people who are his very own, passionate to do what is beautiful in his eyes.”

Titus 2:14 TPT

My savior gave his own life to buy my soul back from the enemy. He paid for every sin I’ve committed and I’ve committed plenty and still do. He is purifying me through various avenues so I can be His very own! (The passion and the desire of Jesus!) so that my life can glorify. I believe Jesus lifted the spirit of depression up off of me because I am his very own.

Living In The Light of Gospel Truth

I struggle with mental health: that is the honest truth, but I am not a victim to it. I have my share of trauma, that is true, but Jesus died to buy me back from the sin I experienced. I sin everyday, that is true! But He is cleansing me on the inside through His word and His blood and He is cleansing me on the outside through circumstances and relationships. His loving purification inspires me to repentance.

The enemy has been working in the lives of every human being, saved or not, to make us believe lies. The lie that I have been believing is that I am a victim of mental health, unfavorable circumstances, and fear.

These are lies that the enemy has been feeding me since I was a little girl. He feeds me lies of believing that people pleasing, pride, deceit, and manipulation will give me the life I want. When all it does is harden my heart toward God and is actually the equivalent of spitting Jesus in the face when He gave his life for me in order to transform me into a new creation. And friend, whether you are saved or not, whether you have made Jesus Lord of your life or not, Jesus wants the same for you.

The Christian walk is all about being constantly transformed, in fact it is what we were chosen for.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.

Ephesians 1:3-4

We were chosen to be Holy and Blameless. Set Apart. Innocent. Without Guilt. And this is only possible through coming to the throne in our time of need, asking the Holy Spirit to guide us into all righteousness, and submitting to His will through obedience.

There is no other way. This is the ancient way friend and the Lord invites us to walk in it.

Thus says the LORD:
“Stand by the roads, and look,
and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way is; and walk in it,
and find rest for your souls.
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

Jeremiah 6:16

Let us not be the ones who say “we will not walk in it” Let us mimic the Psalmist when he says,

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”

And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.”

Happy Journeying, friend.

Love and Light,

Kourtney Naomi