True Joy

What Is Joy?

A while ago, probably because I was feeling sad, I looked up the biblical definition for joy. The definition surprised and disappointed me because it wasn’t what I wanted or was looking for. (Gotta be honest.) According to HELP Word-studies, joy comes from the Greek word chara and it means the awareness of God’s grace, favor, joy (“grace recognized”). 

WHAT?!

This is in stark contrast to what society tells us joy is. According to Merriam-Webster.com, joy is described as: “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires; delight; a state of happiness or felicity; bliss; a source or cause of delight.” In other words, our society sees joy as an emotion, we feel good, we are successful, things are going our way, and we’ve got what we want. We are happy because of these things. We are delighted! 

This joy has nothing to do with God.

My Experience with Joy 

Now I don’t think there is anything wrong with these things, but I want to paint a picture for you. In 2020, I moved into a new apartment, was doing WELL financially, was in a relationship, had my friends, hair was flourishing, my family was alive and well, I just graduated grad-school. I had success and the things my heart desired. I was happy. But I wouldn’t say I was joyful. My emotions were fluctuating and there were times where I felt confused and just bored spiritually. My relationship with God was there but it wasn’t thriving. But I was happy, for the most part. I had everything I wanted. 

Now here I am in 2021, I’m not in a relationship and have no prospects. I’m about to go back to teaching In-person during a pandemic. I have an additional role at work and I’m learning how to run a blog. I’m not happy everyday (although most days, thank God, I am!) But I am joyful. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up almost two months ago. The first few weeks were difficult. My dreams for my future changed. I cried my tears, a lot of them, and I felt a big sense of loss. I doubted myself and felt  like I’d never be in a relationship again. But my saving grace and my joy was (and continues to be) that God loves me. He favors me. He likes me. He prefers me. And I’m starting to learn and truly believe and live out these truths. 

Before I was a Christian and would experience a break-up, it would take me months to years to recover. I truly believe that it is only because of God’s word, His love, and His Spirit that I’m able to be truly joyful in my single-hood. I never thought that could be the case. The change now is that God is starting to be the source of my joy. Not men, not success, and not a perfect life.

God-Inspired Joy 

Now, the truth is, if you don’t have a relationship with God through Jesus you may experience happiness in this life, but you won’t experience true joy. (But the good news is, you can! *winks*) True joy is a fruit, a worked product from God’s Holy Spirit. Even as a Christian, I’m learning that this Joy is only produced by God. I can’t force it. I have to be aware of it but even that awareness comes from God and I need to ask Him for it. There are so many lies from the enemy that can get in my way of experiencing joy. However, I am so thankful that God has freely given me His Spirit and has given me access to this joy. 

This joy looks like me being less anxious and worried about my life. I am learning to trust that because God favors me, anything that happens to me only happens because He allows it. He is aware and He is protecting me. This joy looks like me facing my fears and being more honest with people around me. I am learning that because God favors me, I don’t have to be a slave to the fear that people won’t like me. This joy looks like me not fearing singlehood because I know that God favors me and if I’m single, it is okay. It is not a punishment. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are days when I’m tired. There are days when I’m anxious. There are days where I worry that I’ll never get married and have kids. There are days where I am just over being a teacher in NYC (only for a short minute, I love my career). And then, I’m reminded, “Hey, Kourtney, you have My favor.” And it helps. It really does. 

Are you experiencing True Joy?

If you are a Christian and you find that you aren’t experiencing God-Inspired Joy, I want to encourage you to pray and ask God why. I’m sure He will reveal it to you. 

If you aren’t a Christian, I want to encourage you to pray and ask God to open your heart to learning more about Him and more about Jesus. I also encourage you to find a Bible-believing and Bible-practicing church where you can learn more about becoming a Christian. (I attend one and if you want the information, just email me.) 

A Poem For You:

Joy quells my imagined and my real guilt. 

Joy wraps itself around me like a cashmere quilt. 

Joy fills me up, like sugar sweet. 

Joy hems me in, my soul it keeps. 

Love and Light, 

Kourtney Naomi